My positivity about my diabetes is in a bit of a slump at the moment. Let me fill you in.
During the summer I went overseas for a month with my family. Normally, I let the holidays slide but this was 4 weeks so I tried my best to stay on top of my diabetes. However, it was impossible to maintain a routine and the food just kept changing from week to week. So about half way through I threw my hands up in the air and comforted myself with the knowledge that once I got home everything would go back to normal.
We came home but the children were still off from school and I decided to enjoy two more weeks of “lie-in’s” rather than set the alarm and get my daily walk in before the day started. Again I comforted myself with “when school starts things will go back to normal.
Well, its two months since the children went back to school, my old routine is re-established, daily walk included and I still feel like I’m drowning.
It seems so much more difficult to achieve the consistency I had four months ago; maybe since I’m getting older I’m feeling more tired and weary of diabetes. I wish diabetes had small periods where it was easier to manage, where very little effort was required to have all my blood glucose readings to be reasonably within target and not have any huge swings.
I pride myself on trying my best with my diabetes management but when my HbA1c goes upwards from 7.0% to 7.4% (54mmol/mol), I can’t hide my disappointment.
Thank goodness for my doctor, who is very supportive. I had my visit with her yesterday. She always perks me up a bit, she tells me not to be so hard on myself and that we will get there with the numbers.
I know what I need to do to get back on track but I don’t seem to have the energy to break the circle.
But I will get back on track; the alternative is not an option. I have too many people in my life that I want to stick around for! Today, I will draw up all the negativity and the weariness and expel it.
Tomorrow, positivity and the energy to crunch the numbers will prevail. :-)