I’ve been using an insulin pump for almost seven years and it’s unlikely that I will go back to injection pens. However, I know that things change over time and how I feel about things also change, so I will never say that I will never go back to injection pens because the future is unpredictable.
This week, I have been thinking a lot about all the times I’ve changed the way I manage my diabetes and how difficult some of those changes were.
I remember when I was transitioning from pens to my pump and that period where I was “practicing” with it. I swear I just wanted to throw it against a wall it was so annoying. But I was also doing twice the work; I was injecting the real insulin with my pens and calculating pretend insulin doses with saline in the pump. It took twice the time for no extra gain. I did that for three days.
I sat in my kitchen one of those three days and thought to myself what if, after all I went through to get this pump, I actually hate it? What if it drives me batty? Why am I changing everything? And the horrifying thought of what if it doesn’t help me?
Then I reminded myself that very few people around the world give their pumps back – they continue to use them and are happy with it. I had seen this research on the internet. I also reminded myself that if I didn’t like it that I could go back to pens. I reminded myself that change is always hard.
I remember when, after living with type 1 diabetes for 6 years, I changed from two injections per day to four! I remember thinking “how is this better?” when it was suggested. I didn’t want to do it but my research told me it was a better way and it was worth trying.But it was better.
I remember when my first blood glucose meter became obsolete. I think I used it for 5 years!!! I know, it was crazy! It was a pain to try a new one. Not to mention changing to new test strips. But it was a good change.
I remember when I went from checking my blood glucose twice per day to four and then to seven. That was a pain but, again, worth it. I learned so much about managing my insulin doses to match the needs of my body from all of those tests. Now, it’s simply out of habit that I still maintain those 7 tests.
I remember when I tackled proper carb counting and not just guessing – that was a lot of extra work for a couple of weeks. Again worth it.
I was not happy with the results I was getting in my life with diabetes and even though change is always going to be difficult at first, it’s worth remembering that some changes are worth it. Some were not worth the effort and I didn’t continue with them. But doing nothing was not an option. If I didn’t try I would never know if it was better.